roof tops

We met eachother on Broadway street, I was looking at a tat shop. I could not believe he just up and came out to hang with me in the city. We had a great time walking around, went from stripville to seals to china town. stopped at a bar that was very kick ass, I would never walked in by myself but I felt very safe with B. Started to drink, conversation got more intense like always, all I could think abut was how unbelievably sexy he smelt. I knew that he had been riding and was sweaty and it smelt so damn good! I felt like I could get lost just being held by him. I just wanted to close my eyes and fall into his arms and let his scent take me away. Then he rubbed hes knee against mine, I was quite smitten in the moment. All of a sudden this song came on the J-box and I swear we both almost started crying, It reminded me of a lost friend, his cousin. I wanted to song to end, but felt like he needed it, like he needed to break down in front of me, so that he could know he could trust me. I just looked away from him for the entire song. looking away from him is very hard to do.
After the bar we started walking around, it had gotten dark and late by then, window shopping through the steel gates, paper slippers, jade buddas and statues of samari soulders.. He suggested we find a roof top, I thought it was the best idea ever. and somehow we found a vacant building, we just walked right in and up the stairs and almost went up the fire escape in the front of the building that I told him no cause we were both drunk and I could just see one of us falling three stories trying to climb it. So we went back inside and found another ladder to the roof. the night was so nice, warm, actually could see stars. the distant noises from the street below was our symphony. And then he finally kissed me. It was the best kiss. Just how I wanted it. and the kissing lead to touching and the touching lead to heavy touching and then total anamalistic behavior. spanking, sucking,rubbing...it was the best sexual moment without the sex. He still looked at me the way he always does. I'm not explaining it the way I want to. they way it felt so awesome, just like a dream. Me and B on the roof top of some abandond building, kissing and letting our imaginations come to life.
We almost missed bart on the way home..and then he was a gentle men and rode with me all the way home, so I drove him back to his place...around the corner. the night was so amazing, heat was rising, we were getting closer. But I'm still afraid that he's going to decide to just not persue it. He called me today when I didn't think he would. I read his journal and it was mostly about him and his gf breaking up last night. I feel horrible to know that he spent an awesome day with me and then went home to fight with his girl. I should feel guilty, I should have stopped it before it started. bUt I don't want to. It's to real for me. It's to much of a good thing to just let go. I hope I'm not going to let myself down later on. will write more later...
M~